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About this episode

Welcome to Honor Your Truth The “Is It True?” Series Episode Twenty-One “Talk is cheap” For the past 7+ years, I have worked at a café/motel in a resort area called Door County. This is a seasonal business. It is my job to train a new staff in every season that is primarily from other countries. They receive a special visa called the J1. This is a work/travel visa for students. I have been working in and managing restaurants for most of my adult life but this has been a very unique experience. Despite its challenges, I have learned and laughed a lot. The training process goes way beyond where we keep the cups, how to carry a tray, and so on. It branches out into…. why is ketchup served with everything, what is decaf, why is bread toasted, and what on earth is 1000 island dressing. You know you are in for a heck of a ride when you say “everything in this machine gets a straw” and the puzzled person turns to you and says, “What is straw?” About 1 in 3 ask me, “Why do people say hi, how are you? Do they really want to know?” I had to think about it…..that is a very good question. Do they really want to know or is this just something that is said without really thinking? A question really not intended to illicit a response. They wonder if people really want to know….and should they tell the truth…..like “I’m awful or I’m pissed off” I have run different experiments to test if people are really listening or not. Here is one method. I say, “What would you like for breakfast?” They reply, “I think I’ll have the pancakes” Then I say, “Would you like a side of chicken with that?” I have gotten varying responses. 1) “no or no thank you” 2) “just the pancakes” 3) no answer or 4) laughing. I think some people just don’t get it or don’t have my weird sense of humor, and some people…..they aren’t even listening. I am all for being a good listener. I have even practiced something called “active listening”, a very fascinating communication skill. FYI……I didn’t learn it because I was a great communicator. I am certain most of you have heard the old adage “We have 2 eyes, 2 ears, and 1 mouth for a reason” I make every effort to be totally present with someone when they are talking to me. However, I don’t want to spend hours and hours listening to someone stuck in the problem or someone who simply seems to want to hear the sound of their voice. I can’t get a word in edge-wise without being interrupted. No one likes being interrupted. If at all possible, I don’t interrupt people unless I need to tell them their hair is on fire. I never say I will come to a party that I won’t come to….I never say I will do something that I won’t do. I have and it is always worse than telling the truth. In the moment, it often feels uncomfortable, but it is ALWAYS better. I really bug myself when I’m whining. I can catch it now…..most of the time….God love the people that listened to me when I didn’t. I pay attention to words like….try, should, well maybe, but, just, etc. I take a look at what I’m saying if those words come up. I observe more. I not only listen to other people, I listen to myself. Talking is great, but if I don’t do also, it loses its value. I must say what I mean and mean what I say. I Honor My Truth! Debra Hadraba Honor Your Truth Inspiration+Action

• Release Date

  Apr 7, 2009

• Runtime

  02:26