Welcome to the first edition of Glittarazzi's "Quick 'N' Dirty" video news. It's full of awful slang and happy bitchassness ... basically everything you wanted to know this week, but didn't realize you did. This week, we've got several items on the agenda, which you might've read on our site -- delivered via video by Glittarazzi Founders Kelly Ann Collins (recently risen from the near-death, B12-deficiency doldrums) and Ali Lewis (who had a rough night and is forced to report in her walk-of-shame attire) [read about KAC and Ali, here]. The video also features our favorite "dirty" song of the moment: "Whistle" by Flo Rida, and the following trending news items: Male reporter tries to kiss Will Smith -- and gets a bitchslap Michele Bachman wants to be a citizen of Switzerland Look out, white people: minority babies are the new majority NHLer Jason Chimera throws the first pitch at the Nats-Orioles game Sarah Jessica Parker to host Obama fundraiser in NYC (can you say sex in the city?) Fatty Snack of the Week (presented by Ali) Skinny Snack of the Week (presented by Kelly Ann) Did Justin Bieber break up with Selena ... on Twitter? Andy Cohen does Bethesda, Md. -- and so does Malia Obama Yes, folks! We give it to you the way you like it ... quick 'n' dirty. So, go ahead, hit play, and blow my "Whistle," baby! Think of it as news for the smutmouths, biatch!