"April Showers Bring May Flowers" The "Is It True?" Series Episode Thirty-Two

Welcome to Honor Your Truth The “Is It True?” Series Episode Thirty-Two “April Showers Bring May Flowers” I have a “college age” TV that I got from some old boyfriend in trade for my mental health. I have my sanity back, but I’m left with this old thing. I definitely feel ready to release this TV into the world of old flannel shirts, imprinted coffee cups, and that box of old ties and belts they always seem to keep around. I am in a middle age house and recently have had the urge to graduate to the big screen. However, I tabled that idea for now, added “NO TV” to my goals list, and act like it was my plan all along. I’m holding my stash. However, other than this and a mild difference in my coffee shop behavior, I’m pretty much the same type of consumer, conservative with a flair. I haven’t wanted to give much energy to the declining job market. While I might not be all hippy skippy about it, I have remained rather neutral. This too shall pass, I’m sure it will all be ok, and I move on. Because I have a tendency to worry, get depressed, and sit in my room, I cannot dwell in the negative too long. I’ll end up settling in for a long winter’s night. I could easily give in to that dark side, grab some snacks, the comfy pants and watch TV. I have an excuse. If I let it, fear can paralyze me, and fool me. It tricks me into thinking it’s easier to give into the fear, overlooking the inevitable suffering that will result from inaction. While I must admit I do occasionally ponder some kind of miracle cure for my finances, I am pretty clear about the fact that it’s gonna take some action on my part. At the very least, I have to pick up the rock to see if there might be money underneath. I have decided I am not going to open up my quarterly IRA statement…..if I can help myself. I can be a glutton for punishment, but I’m changing now. I didn’t have much in there, but what I did have has dwindled to the cost of a used car if mine breaks. I hadn’t realized that I considered that money, not requirement money, but my escape cash. I could quit my job cash. It gave me a feeling of calm. I know that isn’t considered “smart" I feel the energy of many people walking around without their escape cash. I can’t be the only one who considered this money their “get out of job jail free” card. I almost used it last year, so I could re-do, regroup, reorganize, rethink and so on. I didn’t. While I do entertain the “if onlys”, I made the decision. This got me thinking….maybe I would never use it as escape cash anyway……maybe this created the illusion of some kind of safety, some kind of control. The fact is that no matter how much money I have, I cannot control what happens. Therefore, this money isn’t real anyway. It’s really about letting go and trusting. It might buy me a little time, but it doesn’t change my life, I do. I Honor My Truth! Debra Hadraba Honor Your Truth Inspiration+Action

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