This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0

Today we are going to discuss what to do when your child misbehaves in public.

Now, we are all very aware that when our child misbehaves in public it is really embarrassing to us.

What do other parents think?

What do other people think?

How are we behaving?

Do they think we are bad parents?

I want to let you know something. Your child is also aware that this is your weak spot and that you are embarrassed. They know that they have much more power in public than they do in the privacy of your own home.

What you have to do is realize that your child knows this weak spot. So, what you should do when your child misbehaves in public is you end the situation. What this means is that if you are in the supermarket and your child is just acting out and having a tantrum, you say, “I am walking out of the store. You better be out in three minutes and we are driving home.”

You make it very clear that you are disengaging from the situation. Make it very clear that you are pulling out and you are not accepting the behavior in this situation. You do not let your child embarrass you publically. Also, you do not talk disrespectfully in public to your child. If he does you this to you, then end the situation, walk away, and get out.

Another example is if you are driving in the car and your child is in the backseat fighting with you. Tell your child this, “I am stopping the car and we are not moving until it is quiet.” You pull to the side of the road and you stop the car.

Now in both these scenarios, there are some limitations. It has to be safe. It has to be appropriate for the age of the child. For example, if you were in a dangerous place you do not stop on the side of the road. If you are in a store, which may not be safe, you cannot leave a five or six year old in the store by himself because it is not safe for him.

With a teenager, however, you might be able to. Even if you have a teenager, you might actually go home. This is an example of what you would say to your teenager, “I do not like the way you are talking to me – we are walking out of here now and getting in the car iIn three minutes. Then we are driving home.”

If the teenager is not there, you go home. This is all providing that it is a safe enough place for a teenager and they can get home by themselves. You do not want to leave a child in a place where you abandon them or where it is dangerous for them.

These are really the things you want to consider when you do this technique. You have to evaluate each situation individually based upon where you are and what you are doing at that time. You do not pull off the side of the road if you are in the middle of a freeway or someplace that is dangerous.

But, if you are on a side street or in a suburban area, you may actually pull off to the side of the road, tell the kids to get out of the car, walk away for three minutes, get in control, and then come back when they are able to respond properly. You tell them to do this or else you may go out of the car and walk away yourself.

Each situation is different. The idea is that you, as the parent, are getting the point across that you do not accept abusive, obnoxious, difficult, rude, and insulting behavior. If it happens in public, you end the situation immediately.

You say, I am leaving or we are leaving, you come and in three minutes if you are not here, I am taking the car, meeting you here – whatever the situation will allow you to do. The idea is that you send a clear message to your child that you do not accept this behavior in public. Your child will get that message.