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Kevin: Hi, I'm Kevin R. Breen from FAILocracy.com joined today by Victoria Andrews.
Kevin: Now the Internet is buzzing with news about Steven Slater, the presumably-former-flight attendant who was arrested after cursing out a passenger, stealing 2 beers, and sliding down the emergency exit of a plane.
Victoria: And that's just when the story STARTED to get interesting.
Victoria: First of all, Steven Slater has an impressive background. According to some sources, he was a flight attendant with JetBlue for 28 years. According to his MySpace page, he's 38 years old, so that would mean he's been a flight attendant since he was 10!
Kevin: Yeah, but according to the press association, he's actually 39, so it's only been since he was 11. Not that incredible.
Victoria: Really? Well, JetBlue wasn't even founded until 1998, just 12 years ago! If he was really with them the entire time he was a flight attendant, he somehow managed to work for them 16 years longer than they even EXISTED!
Kevin: Yeah, but according to his MySpace, he's worked for different airlines, and he took five years off recently.
Victoria: Oh, okay, well, the story is still interesting because, apparently, as a plane was landing, a woman started taking her baggage out of the overhead bin before she was supposed to. Slater asked her to stop, and she end up hitting him in the head with her bag.
Kevin: Right, Slater asked for an apology, and she refused, calling him a motherfucker.
Victoria: Apparently he'd had it at that point, and he announced over the intercom, "To the passenger who just called me a motherf-----: f--- you. I've been in this business 28 years, and I've had it." He then grabbed 2 beers off the beverage cart, set the emergency chute, and left the plane on the emergency exit slide.
Kevin: Right, a complete lack of professionalism. Police came to arrest him in connection to reckless endangerment and criminal mischief. They knocked, Slater didn't answer. So they knocked down the door, arrested him, and walked him out of the house as reporters asked him why he was smiling.
Victoria: And why was he smiling? Reports say the police caught him having sex. I guess that also explains why he didn't answer. Since the story got out, the Internet has been buzzing with stories about what a hero he is to all disgruntled workers.
Kevin: Yeah, but come on, there's got to be some professionalism, you know? I don't think I can respect anyone who snaps on the job like that.
Kevin: Wait, what are you doing? We're not done yet.
Victoria: (AS SHE SWINGS HER PURSE AROUND, ACCIDENTALLY STRIKING KEVIN) Oh, I was just getting ready to go.
Kevin: Ouch! Okay, well, can I get an apology.
Victoria: No, fuck you, motherfucker!
Kevin: What the hell!? That's it! I'm sick of this! Fuck this job! And to the woman who called me a motherfucker, fuck you! I've been in this business for 28 years, and I've had! (WALKS OFF SCREEN, THEN WALKS BACK ON SCREEN TO GRAB 2 BEERS, THEN WALKS OFF SCREEN AND SLAMS THE DOOR.)
Cameraman: Uhh, Kevin? Kevin, are you going to come out of your room or what? KNOCKS ON THE DOOR Kevin. KNOCKS AGAIN. Kevin, I'm not going to open the door to see if you're having sex.
Kevin: Why not?