For the complete Stefan Molyneux video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igbBIt...
Hi, I'm Kevin R Breen from FAILocracy.com, and with 99.9% of precints reporting, the results of the Tennessee republican primary are in. How did Basil Marceuax.com fair? In his own words: (He's a winner.)
Basil Marceaux.com's candidacy has been a wild ride for me since I first found out about him online and became one of the first on youtube to publish commentary. I want to sincerely thank all my viewers and those who gave me positive feedback. This has truly been one of the most exciting experiences of my life since my girlfriend dumped me for not making enough money. Speaking of money.
But all that has come to an end tonight, as Tennessee's primary results show that he recieved .5% of the popular vote.
Basil fared well, considering the fact that he ran a shoestring budget campaign during which his only pubicly-known expense was a meal Hardee's. Since he pulled in 3,526 votes, that's less than a penny per vote.?
But it's not enough for a victory. Marceauxdotcom has been dumped by Tennessee in the manner my ruthless ex-girlfriend. They say, "We're just not comfortable with your radical views," and "we just need to explore other options," and, "You need to just give up this gig and get a real job that actually pays," and "Hey Kevin, I'm dating a new guy whose penis is way bigger than yours!"
I'm just kidding! They don't say that last part.
But, somewhat unlike the situation between my ex and me, the state of Tennessee has no restraining order against Basil Marceaux.com, so he's going to be back!
4 years?! But Basil! The presidential election is in only 2 years! Now I'm liable to repeat the last presidential election and vote for Canadian Anarcho-capitalist Stefan Molynuex as a write-in.
But, oddly enough, British-born Molyneux isn't qualified for the job AND MARCEUX.COM IS!
To those in Tennessee, Basil has well-wishes:
That's right folks of Tennessee, if you're a victim of slavery at a traffic stop, and you voted for someone besides Marceaux.com, it's your fault. If you did vote for marceaux.com, then it's time to buy a "Don't blame me, I voted for Basil Marceaux.com T-shirt" from FAILocracy.com. You can get one for as little as $12.95!
Let's see, with 3,526 voters times 50 cent profit per shirt would be 1,763, and at 50 cents each in bulk, that works out to 3,526 roses! Great, that's almost enough roses, but how am I going to pay for the Hallmark Gold, "Please don't be creeped out by this." card?
Like the shirt I'm wearing?! If you didn't vote for Basil Marcaux, you can still buy the, "The Name's DotCom, BasilMarceaux Dotcom," t-shirt from the sidebar on FAILocracy.com.
Thanks again to all the FAILocracy fans who have made these last few days so much fun for me. Check out FAILocracy.com's new layout, and, if you haven't already, subscribe to the FAILocracy radio podcast. It's a talk show about interesting and funny political news items, and we've had lots of interesting people on like comedians Colin Cohen from the Youtube show, "As the Capitol Burns," Harvard professor Jeffrey Miron, Saralyn Wilhelmi of Dirty Jobs and Scy Fy's Fact or Faked, and many others. The show has been on hiatus since my studio equipment was stolen a while ago, but I've finally been able to replace it all, so we'll be back this Monday with a new episode with Paul Gilmartin from Comedy Central Presents and TBS's Dinner and a Movie.
I also want to plug http://www.zazzle.com/Marceaux2010 for Basil Marceaux's official shirts, where proceeds are donated to the Red Cross.