Les Enfants et la Fessée

Interview de Brigitte Oriol:http://alice-miller.com/interviews_fr.php?page=4"Nous manquons tragiquement d'informations sur les besoins émotionnels des enfants et nous en payons le prix fort par des représailles comportementales dramatiques à l'adolescence et futur adulte. Nous avons tous appris de nos parents que les fessées, les punitions, les humiliations étaient "la façon" de nous traiter en tant qu'enfant. Sans nous poser de question, nous accueillons nos propres enfants de "cette même façon" dans l'aveuglement et l'ignorance totale. Certains auditeurs entendront peut être dans ces émissions que nous avons été trompés par le plus gros des mensonges, que ces traitements nous ont rendus sourds, aveugles et muets, coupés de toute compassion pour des petits êtres que l'on doit justement protéger, sécuriser, respecter et aimer : Les Enfants. Pour tous ceux qui auront un regard empathique sur les traitements qu'ils ont reçus jadis, sans plus les banaliser, les nier ou même en rire, alors ils oseront restituer la parole à cet enfant pour le réparer et ils n'auront plus envie de faire mal aux leurs. "

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Alice Miller

http://www.alice-miller.com - Humiliations, spankings and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayal, sexual exploitation, derision, neglect, etc. are all forms of mistreatment, because they injure the integrity and dignity of a child, even if their consequences are not visible right away. However, as adults, most abused children will suffer, and let others suffer, from these injuries. This dynamic of violence can deform some victims into hangmen who take revenge even on whole nations and become willing executors to dictators as unutterably appalling as Hitler and other cruel leaders. Beaten children very early on assimilate the violence they endured, which they may glorify and apply later as parents, in believing that they deserved the punishment and were beaten out of love. They don't know that the only reason for the punishments they have ( or in retrospect, had) to endure is the fact that their parents themselves endured and learned violence without being able to question it. Later, the adults, once abused children, beat their own children and often feel grateful to their parents who mistreated them when they were small and defenseless. This is why society's ignorance remains so immovable and parents continue to produce severe pain and destructivity - in all "good will", in every generation. Most people tolerate this blindly because the origins of human violence in childhood have been and are still being ignored worldwide. Almost all small children are smacked during the first three years of life when they begin to walk and to touch objects which may not be touched. This happens at exactly the time when the human brain builds up its structure and should thus learn kindness, truthfulness, and love but never, never cruelty and lies. Fortunately, there are many mistreated children who find "helping witnesses" and can feel loved by them.